Perfectly Bad Drarry
by sun lit night
Summary: All it takes is one moment to change a life. For Harry its a split seccond, a shocking decision and he finds himself caught between what he's told is right and what he really feels.  not set in any particular year -Warning!-/HP/DM/don't like dont read-
1. Chapter 1

Harry sat pushing his food around his plate trying not to look up. He could feel eyes in the back of his head and he knew that they were all staring at him. The Slytherins had come to quidditch practice again and he'd been smacked right in the face with a bludger, Ron had been knocked off his broom and ginny had dropped the quaffel almost every time she caught it. Some captain he was turning out to be. He stood up quickly unable to bear the snickering any longer and turned to find Draco Malfoy too close for comfort.

"Going somewhere Potter?" he smirked and took a step forward forcing Harry back into his seat rather embarrassingly.

"what's it to do with you Malfoy?" he snapped back having no better comeback.

"Just want to make sure I can avoid your ugly face popping up around the castle." He laughed and Harry stood up again determined to hold his ground not realising how close that would put them. His face was less than an inch from Draco.

"Out of my way Malfoy!"

"Or what Potter?"

"Harry don't do this!" Ginny came running over and grabbed Harry's hand to pull him away. "Come on lets get out of here.

The last thing Harry wanted to do was leave, he wanted to smack Draco in the face right there even if all the teachers were watching, he wanted to teach Draco a lesson but Ginny wouldn't let go.

"Come on Harry you'll only get into trouble, he's not worth it." As Harry let himself be pulled away Draco called after him.

"That's right Potter run off and hide behind your girlfriend, wouldn't want to get hurt would you." Harry felt the anger flare inside him but Ginny had already pulled him out of the great hall so he spun on her instead.

"Why the hell did you do that!" he snapped pulling his hand from hers and glaring at her.

"Oh right next time I'll leave you to fight in the middle of the great hall shall I! I was trying to help you Harry!" She snapped back looking furious at his lack of thanks.

"I don't need your help Ginny! I can take car of myself you know I've been doing it all my life!" He was yelling now and people were staring but he didn't care and neither did she.

"Oh that's right, your the amazing Harry Potter, doesn't need anyone to get by, suffer through your life but that doesn't matter because your the all amazing chosen one! You don't need people to look out for you!"

"There's a difference between looking out for someone and controlling them! Everything I do you have to have a say in! 'don't be stupid' 'that's ridiculous' 'you cant do that' well I did it all before I was with you and I was fine then!" She looked ready to scream at him when Snape came out of the hall.

"Well isn't this nice, a lovers quarrel. Break it up now and I'll only take twenty points from Griffindor." He said seeming far to happy about the fight.

"I think breaking this up is the best idea I've heard in a long time sir" Ginny snapped, Harry caught the double meaning to her words.

" Consider it finished then." Harry replied as though the idea wasn't making his stomach twist with guilt.

"Good forty points from Griffindor, thats twenty each" He added with a smile seeing their annoyance. "Both of you on your way then."

Ginny stormed off immediately but Harry couldn't believe it, they had been fighting a lot lately but he hadn't expected it to actually end. When he turned to see Draco smiling at him he felt his stomach drop.

"Well that was an interesting show." He said wit ha sly smile.

"Yes congratulations you split me and Ginny up now get lost." Harry tried to walk past but Draco stepped out in front of him.

"Oh that was my fault? Well this day just keeps getting better. Please Potter feel free to pitch your self off the top of the astronomy tower and make this the greatest day there ever was!"

"I'm really not in the mood Malfoy!" Harry said through gritted teeth not daring to look him in the eye as his fists clenched at his sides.

"Oh come on Potter, hasn't your day been as good as mine?" Before he knew it Harry had Draco pinned to the wall by his throat with one hand and his wand in the other dangerously close to Draco's face.

"Listen Malfoy, now is not the time to push me. I have had a bad day and to be honest a detention means nothing to me right now." For the second tie that day Harry found himself surprisingly close to Draco's face.

"Do it Potter, I dare you" Draco whispered his lips barley moving, the slightest smile playing on his mouth. "You don't have the nerve to do anything to me."

But he was wrong there, Harry had the nerve but not to do what he expected himself to do. Rather than hexing him into oblivion their lips met quick and soft, but then longer pressed together hard. The sound of approaching footsteps made Harry pull away and yell the first hex that came to his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Its been a while since I updated and this is a pretty short chapter but I've been really busy with revision and stuff. Will try and keep on top of it a little more xx hope you like it!**

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"Once again Potter fighting in the halls! Was forty points from Gryffindor not enough to teach you your lesson" Harry just stared at Snape with a blank expression, he was waiting for Malfoy to jump up and detail the truth of the event in full to Snape, "Fortunately Mr Malfoy does not seem to have sustained any physical injury..." He was giving Malfoy the chance to jump in and give a long winded story about how harry had attacked him viciously in the deserted corridor and Harry expected it but Malfoy remained silent slumped against the wall looking a little dazed so Snape continued "Detention tomorrow night in my office for attempting to use magic in the halls potter now on your way the pair of you." Without further instruction Harry and Draco hurried off down the corridor in opposite directions.

He should have known better than to go back to the common room but Harry was still a in shock from his encounter with malfoy and wasn't thinking straight. He walked through the portrait only to be met by the Ron.

"Where the hell have you been!" He yelled the minute he saw harry but dint pause for an answer "Ginny says you two broke up! She's with Hermione now and she's really upset!"

"Listen Ron I don't know what happened but it was her idea, we were arguing again and everything just seemed to fall apart." Harry sighed and flung himself into a chair whishing he could tell Ron the rest of the incident but he didn't dare, he wasn't even sure himself what had happened.

"You were arguing again? Well maybe this is for the best mate." Ron was quick to change his opinion as he sat own beside Harry with a reassuring look "I mean your not making each other happy, maybe your better as friends." Harry just nodded, his head wasn't really in the room, it was way back inn that corridor still trying to process what he'd done.

"OY HARRY!" Ron looked at him expecting and answer and sighed in annoyance when Harry just stared back blankly "I asked if you were going to end it with Ginny then?"

"No he isn't because I'm ending it with him!" Ginny had seeped to appear as if from nowhere to glare at Harry "This isn't working, I'm sick of arguing with you and I don't want all this drama right now."

Apparently Harry's "I understand" was not the correct response because she stormed away as if he had just slapped her in the face. "What did I do?" He asked Ron when she was out of earshot.

"Beats me, she's a girl Harry, overreacting is just what they do! Better off without them in my opinion." Harry nodded again but he doubted very much he was thinking along the same lines as Ron, a life without girls... did that have to mean a life without relationships...?


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm really sorry this took so long to get up, I know it's been forever since i updated but I've been working a lot on my getting my youtube channel sorted and ready and exams out of the way, there hasn't been much time, not to mention the upload going down on this. But here it is finally, hope you like it, it's finally beginning to get somewhere and there will be more soon i promise :)_

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Harry headed down to the dungeon for his detention, his stomach was becoming more and more twisted with each step. An hour alone with Malfoy and no doubt Snape would leave, he never stayed in his detentions. He was so wrapped up in his own world that Harry almost walked right into Draco.

"Watch it Potter!" he snapped shoving Harry back.

"What the hell are you doing in the middle of the hall anyway!" Harry said trying to sidestep Draco and go into the potions room, but Draco kept getting in his way.

"Waiting for you obviously." That got Harry's attention but not in a good way, he looked up and glared at Draco.

"Why would you be waiting for me?"

"You mean apart from the fact that you went all gay on me yesterday and we're about to be left alone in a room for an hour? Sorry if this comes as a shock Potter but I'm not gay and the thought of being alone with you is bad enough without the chance of you coming onto me!"

"Go do one Malfoy, I'm not about to come on to you so if you'll just get out my way because I have a detention to do."

"Not for another ten minutes you don't" Draco said throwing out a hand to stop Harry passing. "just remember Potter I could have the whole school knowing that your gay by tomorrow morning, if I were you I'd have a little more respect!"

"Right, because everyone would believe you, a known enemy of mine, when you told them I was gay. Please not even Crabbe and Goyle are that dumb! Thing here is Draco, no one will believe a word you say about me, and seriously, me kissing you? Do you even believe it yourself? God knows I'm doing my best to forget it, and pretend it never happened at all like is shouldn't have, but still I could do whatever I like right here and what the hell could you do about it?" Draco's face twisted with anger and Harry laughed hollowly. He had no idea what he was doing the words were just pouring out of his mouth. He didn't even know if he was gay but he sure as hell wanted to kiss Draco again despite what he'd said now that he was facing him. Before he did something stupid harry shoved passed Draco and hurried into the dungeon.

As predicted Snape left when he gave them their jobs, which thankfully left them on opposite sides of the dungeon. Draco was relabeling that potion bottles and Harry was sorting through a pile of ingredients which gave him time to think.

He's always assumed he was straight but before he came to Hogwarts he'd never really thought much about dating at all and thinking back he'd always been willing to admit that guys were hot. He'd never really thought about what that meant or been taught what it was to be gay or straight, but now his head just kept drifting back to that kiss, so brief but the emotion behind it was more than he'd ever felt with Cho or Ginny. And then there was the time he'd been changing with Oliver wood after Quidditch training, the older boy had pulled his shirt off leaving Harry breathless, something a girl had never been able to do for him.

"Oy Potter do you want this detention to last forever?" Harry's head snapped up to meet the gaze of a smirking Draco.

"What?" He snapped annoyed that he had been pulled away from his thoughts.

"You're making a right mess with that sorting and Snape won't let you leave until you have it right." Harry looked down at the piles he had been making and seeing nothing wrong with them turned back to Draco with a confused look. He sighed in annoyance and came over to the bench.

"This" He said picking up a small green leaf form one of the piles "Is a venomous tentacula leaf but this" He took another leaf from the same pile "Is a midnight leaf, there completely different!" Harry looked hard at the two and could see no obvious difference .

"How the hell could you see that from all the way over there?" Harry snapped still trying to see a difference in the leaves.

"The midnight has silver streaks Potter, are you blind or something?"

"I must be because I can't see what you're seeing!" He reached over to another pile and scattered a few leaves across the table "See they all look the same to me." He said staring in concentration and trying to see the slightest difference.

"Not one of them is the same." Draco sighed pulling out a stool and sitting across from Harry. "Look, this looks blue under the light, this has silver bits that one is a different shape..." As h spoke his fingers moved expertly sliding the leaves and pulling ones from other piles, creating knew ones, harry hadn't the faintest idea what he was talking about but he sure enjoyed watching Draco. It took him about five minutes to resort the piles Harry had made and create knew ones, when he had done he looked up at harry with a smug smile.

"See" he said leaning back on his stool.

"Not really, they look the same as mine to me." Harry said trying not to smile himself seeing Draco's annoyance, they were clearly different and right unlike Harry's which had been complete guess-work. At the same moment they reached out to the pile of unsorted ingredients and just briefly their hands knocked, both snapped their arms back instantly and glared at each other.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" Draco snapped cradling his hand as though it had been injured.

"As if," harry scoffed "I wouldn't touch you again if someone paid me."

"Then why did you 'touch; me in the first place then?" The question caught Harry of guard, from the way Draco said 'Touch' it was clear that he wasn't talking about their hands just then but the kiss earlier that day and in honesty harry didn't know.

"I don't have an answer to that, it just happened." Harry said unable to look at him for fear that it would 'just happen' again. "And I don't plan on ever doing it again so just drop it."

"So you're saying that you're not gay then?" Draco asked curiously as he stood up and began to make his way around the bench. Harry didn't like the way that this was going.

"I didn't say that, I said that I didn't mean to do that is all."

"But did you want to?" He asked moving closer to harry with every slow step.

"What do you mean?" Harry snapped unnerved by the whole situation.

"I mean did you want to kiss me, just because you didn't mean to, doesn't mean that you didn't want to?" Harry stood up quickly intending to back away but he found himself stood right in front of Draco their mouths just inches apart and he couldn't bring himself to draw away. "Tell me potter" Draco continued to mutter and Harry could just feel the faint brush of his breath as he spoke. "Did you want to kiss me."

"Yes okay, are you happy now?" Harry had intended to sound harsh like the whole thing was bad but instead he was breathless and the yes was embarrassingly pleading.

"Happy? No not yet." Before Harry could even attempt to give a snappy comeback about him never being happy and just being spoiled, he grabbed Harry's head and closed the gap between them. Unlike the first this kiss pas deeper with a lot more power and purpose behind it. Harry soon found himself melting away from the world existing only in that moment, that kiss, perfection.

Surprisingly Harry was the first to pull away nearly falling over his stool as he did so but holding out his hands so a distance remained all the same.

"What is this?" He snapped looking at Draco suspiciously.

"It's a potions lab potter, I thought even you might have noticed that" He smirked cockily But Harry just Scowled

"Don't start getting smart with me, you know what I mean!"

"Yeah I do but your equally as stupid for not realising what this is. This is me kissing you back."Draco said rather quickly and then shrugged it off as though it were nothing much to Harry's amusement.

"But your not gay." Harry said suspiciously causing Draco to look at him and give an exasperated sigh.

"Really? You think you know my sexuality better than I do? Believe me I'm gay, god knows why I'm telling you but it's the truth none the less."

"Your telling me because no matter who either of us tells, no one will believe it, so it's safe like this." They met each others eyes and harry sighed slowly "At least that s what I keep telling myself" He admitted reluctantly. It was true that they were nothing more than words that he had been repeating over and over in his head, they meant nothing really, and he knew that they were a lie.

"I Wouldn't call it 'safe' kissing the guy you've had a crush on since the first year of school, in fact I think it might be the complete opposite of that if anything." Harry's breath caught and he couldn't speak, this was insane. Draco Malfoy was admitting a crush on him after all this time and rather than laughing and making a mockery of him harry found that all he wanted to do was kiss him again.

"But we hate each other." Harry said stupidly, but willing to do anything to keep them talking, when they stopped it made not kissing him that much harder.

"Not always, that first day, the offer was genuine, I admit that my wording may have seemed harsher than I intended but it was you who decided to hate me, until today I though that was all there was to it." For the first time Harry saw something more to Draco, a completely different side that was strangely vulnerable and open.

"Hours up detentions over, move this fight out of my sight before I have to give you another detention and see your miserable face again potter!" They hadn't heard Snape come back and they both jumped back instantly. Harry left the dungeon without another word and kept his head down right until he was as the portrait.


	4. Chapter 4

So he was gay, he knew that much, and he could accept that much, but liking Draco? Sure he was hot, he'd even heard Hermione admit that much, but he was still Draco. Had it really been Harry's fault that had caused all of this fighting? Ignoring Draco's background, and the natural order of things that had set them against each other so many times, if Harry had given him a chance on that first day would hit have all been different.

He threw his head into the pillow and groaned. Why hadn't he just walked away from Draco. That same morning he'd liked girls, had a girlfriend and an enemy. Now he everything was very nearly flipped, he'd kissed that enemy and couldn't be in the same room as that girlfriend!

"What's up with you?" Ron asked making harry jump up and for some reason he felt oddly guilty.

"Nothing really, just thinking.! He said honestly, Ron looked at him curiously for a moment making Harry's insides twist, there was no way he could know what had been running through Harry's mind just moments before but the look was far from reassuring.

"Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that." Ron said Harry nearly fell of the bed.

"Talk to me about what?" He asked a little to quickly.

"Oh sorry, I thought it was obvious, I want to talk about Ginny." Harry bit back his sigh of relief for fear Ron might get suspicious and settled for a nod, waving a hand to indicate that Ron should take a seat on his bed.

"What's up?" Harry prompted which was apparently not the way Ron wanted him to broach the topic.

"What's up? You mean apart from my heartbroken sister who's been crying to Hermione about you leaving the room every time she walks in. She's been trying to talk to you since breakfast but apparently you haven't given her half a chance!"

"I'm sorry but I really haven't been in the mood for it today, I was pretty sure we'd both said all there was to say at breakfast and your attitude seems to have changed, or are we pretending that conversation we had earlier never happened at all?"

"That was before I knew the full story, she stopped you fighting with Malfoy in the great hall you went mad at her? Really Harry you should have been bloody thanking her! She probably saved you a week of detention, but you go and break up with her for it!"

"Hey she suggested breaking up, not me!"

"Yeah but she wasn't serious! She said it was a heat of the moment thing, not a forever thing!"

"Well I'm sorry Ron but I was serious, I just don't like her like that anymore, I'm sick of the arguing and then the madly in love, it makes me dizzy. I cant keep up with her mood swings and quite frankly I don't see why I should have to!" Not to mention the fact that I'm now certain that I'm gay, he added to himself and wondered for a moment how Ron would react if he told him like that, or if he ever told him. Then there was the first guy he'd ever kissed being Draco, well that would go down perfectly! He really had messed everything up in just one day.

"Fine if that's how you really feel!" Ron snapped jumping up and glaring at Harry who just shrugged.

"It is." Ron stormed out of the dorm room slamming the door as he went, but Harry didn't get much peace, he heard Ron yelling on the staircase and not even a minute after he'd left the door opened again and Hermione came in slowly.

"Come to tell me how upset Ginny is and how mean I am for breaking it off?" He asked looking over at her.

"No, I've come to tell you that I'm here for you Harry." She met his eyes steadily and once again he found himself unnerved, but he didn't put it past Hermione to have sussed more than Ron. After a moment of watching him carefully she gave the slightest of smiles to herself and perched on the edge of his bed. "Ginny really isn't bothered that it's over between you, to be quite honest she's just being a bitch and making out that she is to Ron. Eloise heard her laughing about it in the girls bathrooms."

"And what else?" Harry said seeing straight through Hermione's confused look, "Oh come off it, the one thing you could never learn was how to lie, well that an divinations but..." He laughed as she punched him playfully in the arm.

"And one thing you were never good at Harry was hiding your emotions, well that and following rules!"

"At least my rule breaking is practical" He said still laughing. "But why do you say I'm no good at hiding my emotions?" He asked trying to mask his worry with laughter.

"Oh come off it Harry, you were never as into your relationship as Ginny was. She knew it just as well as I did, she knew it would end eventually but what she didn't know was why." Hermione raised an eyebrow and examined Harry.

"You're being very cryptic." Harry said deciding his best and probably only really option was to play dumb.

"Ok, I'll go ahead and spell it out for you if you want?" She waited just looking at Harry who remained silent, "Well lets see, the arguing might be and excuse to break up, but something else has happened since, I saw the fight outside the great hall Harry, it wasn't the worst and you both walked away looking pretty bad about it."

"That's no less cryptic Hermione." Harry said biting back on what he really wanted to ask, if she'd seen them fight what else had she seen.

"Fine, but the problem is I'm not sure how much you know yourself so this is..."

"Just tell mw what your thinking Hermione" She spent another moment just looking at him before nodding with a sigh.

"Well if you want." She said pulling her legs up to her chest and turning on the bed to face Harry properly "So this morning it was any other fight, break up now make up ten minutes later, but before you had a chance to make up something happened. It was your conversation with Ron earlier though that really got me thinking." So she'd been there to, Harry was beginning to wonder if he was being stalked. "There was something about you that was distant, the things that Ron said meant one thing for him but I could tell that you were relating them to something. That's when I guessed that there was someone else, but I found it strange that you had suddenly realised you liked someone else so suddenly when you seemed fine with Ginny that same morning. Then I remembered why it had surprised me that you and Ginny were ever fine, why I'd told her to look at other guys not long before you got together because really I didn't think she had a chance with you. I'd thought that you were... well playing for the other team? When you got with Ginny I figured I must have been wrong but then this. Harry are you...?"

Harry didn't know how to answer, the obvious thing to say would be yes but he couldn't bring himself to say it, he knew that if he did he would start retelling the day and then he would tell her about Draco and the confusion and how his head was still spinning, even he was having trouble with that never mind her. Thankfully she nodded for him.

"Harry its ok." That he had to answer to.

"Oh Hermione you have no idea how much it isn't ok." He said throwing himself back into his pillow and covering his face with his hands so he didn't say more.

"It is Harry, believe me, I know why you think it isn't and I still say it is." Harry lifted his head and peaked through his fingers suspiciously. "Please, your lack of trust hurts me!" She laughed "for you to realise that your gay there'd have to be a guy involved Harry, from what I can tell, unless you've been making out up here with Seamus, the only other guy you've been alone with today is MAlfoy, and you seemed more reluctant than ever to attend that detention."

Harry suddenly flung his arms out and let out a sigh of relief, it was like a huge weight had just been obliterated and he lead grinning at his canopy. "I'm insane though right?" He said lifting his head to look at Hermione but still grinning like a Cheshire cat "I mean he's Malfoy, I hate him and he hates me" Again he sighed and his smile faded slightly into more of a grin to himself "But I don't hate him Hermione, is that bad?"

"do you believe in all that 'fine line between love and hate stuff'?" Harry shook his head, "No neither do I, I think you've liked each other all along and just made it into hate to save yourselves from potential embarrassment, if you like him it's not bad Harry, you could definitely pick worse than the Slytherin sex god."

"The what?" Harry sat upright looking at Hermione questioningly.

"It's a thing among girls, Draco is the Slytherin sex God, and you're actually the Hogwarts sex God." Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Hermione I've never..."

"Oh I know that's not the point, all it means is that given the choice of anyone the majority of girls would pick you over anyone else, if it had to be a Slytherin most would pick Draco, Huffelpuff is Cedric and Ravenclaw's is Roger Davies, the Gryffindor not including you is Oliver Wood." Harrys eyebrow raised still further.

"Oh I see, so girls, who say that guys are mean and stereotypical and chauvinistic, have a list of 'sex God's' that they would like to sleep with, can I ask the criteria for this list miss Granger." She shoved Harry playfully.

"Shut up, we need some fun! And don't you go telling people you know about this, its one of the best kept secrets at Hogwarts!"

"Right, after the chamber of secrets itself of course, oh and the fact that Hagrid was hiding a Dragon in his hut, and that time when Lord Voldemort himself was hanging around Hogwarts stuck on the back of a teacher's head , the fact that the whomping willow was built to hide a werewolf or..."

"Ok shut up" they both laughed for a while and Harry was Happy just to sit and be smile because it made everything seem normal and it made him realise for the first time in what was shaping up to be a very long day, that everything was still normal, more normal even! And that was good.


	5. Chapter 5

School the next day was torturous, all day Harry was paranoid about someone finding out, Hermione had sussed it not long after they met why not the rest of the school too? Of course he knew that he was being paranoid. Hermione made sure to tell him that every few seconds but it didn't help that Ron wasn't talking to him so he kept getting funny looks from Ron, Dean and Seamus. It was because of his breakup with Ginny, he kept reminding himself, but with defence against the dark arts approaching it became more difficult for him to convince himself.

He and Hermione were practically the first two there, the only other person was an odd looking Slytherin girl with red hair and a turned up nose, she didn't seem to happy at the sight of them and actually walked away when they stopped, that was the last thing Harry needed to kick start this lesson.

Professor Grubbly-Plank invited them in after less than a minute of standing them being stood outside and left the door open for anyone following. As DADA teachers went she wasn't that bad in Harry's opinion, she was certainly better with defence against magical creatures than spells themselves, but she knew enough to keep them occupied and she was really only supposed to be a temporary substitute until Dumbledore could find a more permanent choice, after the last ministry official he would have used Trelawney as a DADA cover before letting them put someone in. But Gubbly-Plank was about as good as a care of magical creatures professor was expected to be.

This particular lesson however she could have been talking about how to mate with a dementor and harry wouldn't have noticed in the slightest, he was so focused on not looking at Draco, keeping his eyes fixed on his book though he couldn't read a word of it. Every so often he would see Hermione turn to him out of the corner of his eye bu she never once asked him to turn to he, she knew that he wouldn't. Draco was two desks away in her direction and Harry would not look at him, he couldn't look at him until something hit him in the side of the head.

It was a balled up piece of parchment. Glanging around he saw Draco and his friends grinning stupidly and he was hit with a wave of nausea. What had he told them to make them grin like that. His stomach did summersaults as he slowly unfolded the sheet hardly daring to look. At first he didn't understand, it appeared to be a rather crude drawing of him and Hermione, he would lean closer blush and then a heart appeared around them. It repeated like a constant flip book... a flip book. He watched the drawing move through the sequence again more carefully this time and he caught it. Just before the heart formed there was a flash, like a glitch in the drawing. The next time around he froze the image. It took him a few attempts to get it right but eventually he caught it right on the glitch.

'Meet me at seven in the owlery, don't tell anyone.' Just a week ago Harry would have been convinced it was a trap or a plot but glancing up again he caught Draco's eye, the rest of the slytherins had returned their attention to the lesson but not Draco, he was still watching Harry, not obviously but the way he leant back in his chair meant that Harry just happened to be in his line of vision. The slight nod tht Harry gave him made him smile, but not the devious sly smile Harry was used to though it naturally seemed to hold the same traits, this one seemed more genuine and happy.

Unable to break old habits Harry went to the owlry that night but with the marauders map tucked in his pocket and under the invisibility cloak. To his surprise Draco was waiting, sat on the window ledge looking out at the grounds. The black night framed his blonde hair that shone in the moonlight perfectly, he looked out of this world, he almost fell out of the window when Harry let the cloak call and cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Oh Harry, you're hear." Harry smiled and nodded, he'd never seen Draco look so awkward and uncertain before and he kind of liked it. Hermione had warned him before he came that this would happen, him being alone with Draco would only make his feelings stronger but like an idiot he'd refused to believe her and come anyway and unprepared, if there was anyway to prepare.

"Well you asked and here I am."

"Right yeah, I did didn't I. I guess I just didn't actually expect you to come." Draco said with a dismissive shrug.

"Well why did you make me come all the way up here in the dead of night?"Draco mumbled some sort of reply that Harry couldn't hear. "I'm sorry what?" The only Reply he got to that was Draco's mouth pressed against his. He stumbled back but held Draco so that they didn't fall apart leaving Harry pinned against the wall as he continued to kiss Draco revelling in the sweet feeling of their lips pressed together.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry sat on the floor of the owlry unable to stop smiling. Draco was leaning against his chest whilst Harry gently ran his fingers through his soft blonde hair. Every so often Draco would take in a breath as though he was about to speak but at the last minute he's let it out in a sigh and stay silent.

"What is it?" Harry asked finally unable to take it any longer.

"What is what?" Draco asked leaning back to Harry who just met his eyes questioningly. "Oh fine then, if you must" Draco muttered pushing himself upright and turning to face Harry. "It might sound stupid but I'm trying to figure out what we're doing." Harry's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean? I thought that much was obvious." Draco sighed and shook his head.

"No not like that, I mean I know what we're doing, but what are we actually doing. We're supposed to hate each other, we were born on two completely different sides of a war, we were sorted into the two houses with the biggest rivalry, hell according to the rest of the school we both like girls! But here we are. What are we doing Harry" There was a hint of desperation in Draco's voice and it was an automatic gesture for Harry to lean forward and wrap his arms around him.

"To be honest Draco I don't have a clue what were doing, all I know is that I don't want it to stop." He muttered pressing his lips to Draco's neck affectionately.

"But Harry we're not the only people in the world, what's the point if nothing can come of it."

"Who says noting can come of it Draco." He pushed away a little so that their foreheads were leant together. "The only people who can decide that are me and you. Why did you ask me to come here tonight?"

"I don't know." Draco didn't meet Harry's eyes when he said it so harry moved further away and took his face in his hands making him meet his gaze. After a long moment Draco gave in but not without complaint "Why do you make me do this" He snapped half-heartedly "You know why I did it why make me say it?"

"Because you saying it makes it real, I think I know why but I don't know for certain." Harry could almost see in Draco's eyes the moment he snapped, when he was bushed just that little to far. He jumped up like a child in a tantrum and glared at harry, a glare that didn't match his words.

"I had to see you, had to know it wasn't in my head or some sort of cruel joke. You're all I can bloody think about all the time and it kills me because I know I shouldn't but every day seeing you, god I've known for years and had to watch you oblivious as you are walking around the school with girls following you like lost puppies. All this time it has been like torture because I love you!" His hands flew to his mouth and his expression turned from anger to horror and disbelief at hearing the words from his own mouth. Instantly he began shaking his head as though willing time to go back so that he could unsay them.

"Did you just say you love me?" Harry was utterly shocked. Draco just continued to shake his head with his hands over his mouth. All that time, all those fights all the trouble he had caused Harry and the trouble Harry had caused him, was it possible that through all that Draco had felt like that? But the more he thought about the other things Draco had said the more sense it made. Draco had always been quicker to insult Ron and Hermione than Harry, and he was particularly mean to Hermione, his closest female friend. In a group Harry became the main victim but was that to hide something? Slowly Harry stood up, Draco had stopped shaking his head now but his hands were still covering his mouth. Seeing Harry's movement he backed up a few steps.

"Draco please..." Harry said carefully moving closer to him. He looked go vulnerable it was hard to believe that this was the same boy who Harry had known all those years, and that was what it took for him to realise it wasn't. This was Draco Malfoy stripped of all his grand exterior, rid of all the flair and fancy that he put on for everyone else. This was the real thing.

Gently Harry pulled Draco's hands away from his mouth and very slowly and carefully he kissed him lightly.

"I love you to Draco." He said softly and once again they became locked in a passionate embrace.

This time it was Harry leaning on Draco as he carefully combed his fingers through his hair. Weather by coincidence or simply by fate Harry suddenly realised what Draco had meant earlier when he asked what they were doing. In a flash his thoughts went form whishing that this moment would never end to the realisation that this moment was doomed to end.

"I get it now" He said unable to keep a steady voice.

"Hmm..." Draco had obviously been off somewhere else which only made Harry feel all the worse, "Get what?"

"What you said before, or asked before, about what this was, what we're doing" Draco's hand froze in Harry's hair and still being leant on him Harry felt as well as heard him take a deep calming breath.

"We can't do this can we?" He said eventually. Harry knew that this was the part where he was supposed to sit up and look at Draco properly but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I don't want to leave it here." Harry was fighting to keep a level voice but when Draco started to stroke his hair again he realised that he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Neither do I, but do we have a choice?" slowly Harry pushed himself upright.

"There's always a choice." He said weakly but he knew himself that the choice was already made and it wasn't the one either of them really wanted.

"Maybe, but ours has been made for us." He leant his forehead against Harry's and took a deep breath. "It's going to come down to us fighting one another, we were born on different sides of this and that's all there is to it."

"You know as well as I do that there's more to it than that. I love you Draco, it can't just be this." He gestured the around the small circle room honestly unable to believe that one night in that room was all they would have.

"I've always loved you Harry and I want to hope that there's more but it's hard to see me coming out of this as one of the good guys even if I do survive. For my side to win you have to lose and I can't see you lose, I can't watch you die" He kissed Harry again more deeply this time. "But if I turn from them it's not just me they'll come after, my mother too Harry, I'd go to Dumbledore right now and pledge my loyalty but if he found out, he's go after everyone I ever cared for."

"Shh, shh, it's ok" Harry said soothingly taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "I understand Draco, I promise you I understand. I don't expect you to take that risk. Just promise me one thing?" Draco, though his eyes were brimming with tears looked Harry dead in the eye and said certainly,

"Anything you ask, anything"

"We both do what we have to do, play the parts we were born to play from the minute we leave this room. But I just have to know that if we both make it through... just promise me it won't change this." He kissed Draco deeply to try and show what he meant.

"Nothing can change how I feel Harry, not now or ever. I love you Harry James potter, forever." Harry sighed Happily and let himself fall into Draco's arms for what may well be the last time.

It was almost three in the morning when he climbed back through the portrait hole, (much to the annoyance of the sleeping fat lady) so he hadn't expected anyone to be awake, much less waiting for him. Hermione was sat stroking crookshanks affectionately and the minute he came in her head snapped up and she looked at him curiously. No doubt his eyes were red and if she had good eyes she would possibly be able to see the tearstains.

"What happened?"She asked curiously.

"I don't know what your talking about." He said walking straight past her and up to his room. Over the next few days she pressed and hinted but Harry said nothing on the subject playing dumb. He patched things up with Ron and eventually Hermione had to give it up though he was sure that she never forgot that night, just like he would never forget it for a very different reason.

* * *

_So I think this may well be the end of this one, I'd debating a follow up story when their older but it will be a while before I get started on that one if i do it, hope you liked it, constructive criticism welcome bearing in mind that I am already very aware of my spelling and punctuation issues and working on them. Thank you for reading this far, of skipping to the end I guess... either way it's been a fun one to write and that's kind of the main reason for doing this! DFTBA_


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